Older Generations and Natural Hair Acceptance

“I REALLY need some advice y’all.

For my daughter’s birthday last month , I allowed her to book her first hair appointment for a press and curl. My daughter’s paternal grandparents made such a fuss over her hair and offered to start sending her to the salon regularly because, “She’s at that age where she should be going regularly to get it done”. After explaining to her that I didn’t want her hair to be pressed regularly she stated how pretty she and her pop-pop thought she looked with her hair pressed. I don’t think it was intentional or that she meant any harm by it. I’m used to the older generation not liking kinky hair. But every time my daughter comes home I feel like I have to reprogram her all over again when it comes to her hair! 

My daughter has recently been on a “healthy hair” movement with the goal of gaining some length and came home last week upset because her grandmother told her that 100% Black Girls can’t grow long hair! 

How can I address this issue without being disrespectful?”